"On the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to make you clean, nor were you rubbed with salt or wrapped in cloths.No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough to do any of these things for you. Rather, you were thrown out into the open field, for on the day you were born you were despised. Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, "Live!" I made you grow like a plant of the field. You grew up and developed and became the most beautiful of jewels. Your breasts were formed and your hair grew, you who were naked and bare. Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign LORD, and you became mine. I bathed you with water and washed the blood from you and put ointments on you. I clothed you with an embroidered dress and put leather sandals on you. I dressed you in fine linen and covered you with costly garments. I adorned you with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms and a necklace around your neck, and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. So you were adorned with gold and silver; your clothes were of fine linen and costly fabric and embroidered cloth. Your food was fine flour, honey and olive oil. You became very beautiful and rose to be a queen. And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign LORD.But you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute. You lavished your favors on anyone who passed by and your beauty became his. You took some of your garments to make gaudy high places, where you carried on your prostitution. Such things should not happen, nor should they ever occur. You also took the fine jewelry I gave you, the jewelry made of my gold and silver, and you made for yourself male idols and engaged in prostitution with them. And you took your embroidered clothes to put on them, and you offered my oil and incense before them. Also the food I provided for you—the fine flour, olive oil and honey I gave you to eat—you offered as fragrant incense before them. That is what happened, declares the Sovereign LORD.And you took your sons and daughters whom you bore to me and sacrificed them as food to the idols. Was your prostitution not enough? You slaughtered my children and sacrificed them to the idols. In all your detestable practices and your prostitution you did not remember the days of your youth, when you were naked and bare, kicking about in your blood "
-Ezekial 16:1-19
I really love this Ezekial passage. As freaken long as it is, I really hope you took time to read it. I think it describes our lives so perfectly and the state that I am currently in. There is this depiction in verse 6 "...then i passed by and saw you kicking in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, "Live!" and basically the passage as a whole talks about the richness of God's love for us. Did you read that part?! Did you get it?! Do you really grasp how much God adores us? and guess what our response is.... we took this precious gift and threw it away like trash, and took this beautiful thing and prostituted it. how sick is that? I feel so ashamed of myself. The sad thing is, even with this awareness, I still continue to reject God and fail in my every life of putting other idols before my God. I always wanted to make my motto "Love God. love people." but I've made my motto to love myself before loving God or people. So here it is. confession. Life has been a struggle recently... but I want to desire God again. I want to yearn for him, thirst for him. I want to love others instead of myself. I want to renew it all again.. and so it begins.
...2 years later and I've come back to the blogging world. Even though I REALLY enjoy journaling/blogging I went on a hiatus because I just didn't think there was anything too exciting to talk about anymore (...and i got a lil busy heh). But these past weeks I've been really wanting to revive bloggin again because I think that there is a tremendous value of exactly that: journaling through the everyday struggles of living for Jesus in this broken world. Yea,it's more exciting to blog about trips and the excitements of the highs of the temporaries, but the real value may be possibly to use a blog to encourage others who are struggling with the same convictions as you are or for others to see your thought process for evangelism sake. So basically I really, genuinely, from the bottom of my heart want to share more about God and what he is doing in my life..and as boring as it sometimes may be to you or me or lame to make a blog about it, I want to proclaim it in my life. I believe when God's hand is at work in someone's life... it's nothing short of exciting. right?
